Celebrity Jeopardy!
by The SonicJester
Summary: Watch as our Intelligent *and I use that term lightly* contestants compete for charity. Rated T for Language and Adult Jokes.
1. Ep1: Bill,Cobra Commander,Knuckles

Ep1

Contestants:

Bill (Left 4 Dead)

Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe)

Knuckles the Echidna (Sonic the Hedgehog)

"Hello welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy I am your host Alex Trebek. When we last left we have Knuckles who is in last place with an amazing -$500,000 the lowest score in the history of the game… BUZZ! "The answer is 5" shouted Knuckles "Knuckles we are not playing yet" BUZZ! "The answer is Al Gore" shouted Knuckles Alex Trebek sighed and looked down in shame than looked back up to continue hosting "we have Cobra Commander in 2nd with a score of -$4,200." "If I don't win I swear to God I'm going to scramble the Viper's and bomb the s**t out of your house Trebek!" Screamed The Cobra Commander in his raspy voice "Noted and in 1st place we have Bill with a score $1." "That's how much your mom charges for a blowjob" Shouted Bill "Moving on it is now time for double Jeopardy here are the categories for double Jeopardy."

Colors that end in ellow

Famous titles

The number 5

Note all the answers in this category is the number 5

Endangered species

Current U.S Presidents

Reasons why the Cobra Commander is the greatest man who ever lived… "Wait this is not a category!" "It better be or else I'll bomb you mothers house!" screamed Cobra Commander "Do you mind waiting till tomorrow to bomb her house because I intend to go over there after the show and sex her brains out!" stated Bill BUZZ! "Cobra Commander is the greatest man who ever lived because he has a cool Mask" Shouted Knuckles

Trebek sighed

The real last category

First Grade Math

Bill since you're in the lead you'll start

"I'll take Famous Tit's for $400"

"You mean Famous Titles"

"Damn" Bill said

The title of this movie has 2 words in it and starts with Iron and end with Man

BUZZ! "Batman!" Shouted Knuckles

"NO and please answer in the form of a question"

BUZZ! "Who is Batman!" Said Cobra Commander

"No that was already guessed!" shouted Trebek

BUZZ!"Iron Legs." Said Bill

"No the answer is Iron Man!"

"If I'm correct that's your mother's nickname." Said Bill

"I don't know what that means."

"It means that during sex your mother…"

"Please do not finish that sentence"

"Your Mom's a whore" said Bill

"I'm going to ignore you" Said Trebek

"Knuckles you have control of the board"

Knuckles staring blankly at a stage light

"Knuckles"

"Knuckles"

"Knuckles!"

"What!"

"It's your turn"

"Oh umm ahhhhhh ummmmm ahhhhh "

BUZZ! "The answer is World War 2" shouted Knuckles

"*Sigh* How about I pick a category for you The number 5 for $200"

"Just buzz in and say 5 that's all you have to say 5"

BUZZ! "SIX!" Shouted Knuckles

"No how could you possibly get that wrong"

"I don't know it's so confusing" Cried Knuckles

"Anyone else"

The contestants just stood there silently

"Anyone"

"All you have to do is say 5"

Out of time buzzer buzzed

"I have lost faith in humanity." Trebek said to himself

"Cobra Commander it's your turn."

"I'll play Tit's for $1,000"

"Famous Titles and it's an audio Jeopardy Guess what show this theme song came from"

Yo Joe

They fight for freedom whenever there's trouble G.I. Joe is there

G.I. Joe a real American hero G.I. Joe is there

BUZZ! "Transformers"

"You're from this T.V. Show How can you not know the answer."

"I suggest you watch your tone of voice Trebek!" Cobra Commander hissed

"Ok moving on…" Trebek started saying before being interrupted by the Cobra Commander

"I've been shoot in the head ten times and I'm still standing! If you want a F**king war I will give A F**KING WAR!" shouted Cobra Commander

"Let's Just skip to the Final Jeopardy."

"And the question is to just write down where you are"

The Jeopardy theme begins playing

"You just have to write were you are"

"It can be California, L.A., you can write Earth for all I care."

The Jeopardy theme ends

"All right times up let's see what you got."

"Knuckles you wrote a bunch of squiggly lines."

"I'm sorry that is wrong and you wagered even more squiggly lines."

"I don't know how to read or write." said Knuckles

"Good for you."

"Cobra Commander you wrote Cobramerica."

"That's what I intend to rename this country once I conquer it!" said Cobra Commander

"I'm sorry that's wrong and you wagered."

"Complete and total domination of the World."

"I will not be denied my destiny!" shouted Cobra Commander

"Right and last Bill you wrote Inside"

"Wait that's right I'm getting word from the judges that a correct response. Are you recording this he's right and you wagered Inside Trebek's Mom."

"Which is were I'm going to be after this show if you know what I mean HA HA HA" mocked Bill

"Well thankfully this is the end of our show I have been your host Alex Trebek. Now I'm going home to put a noose around my neck."


	2. Ep2:Bill,RED Heavy,Rei Ayanami

Ep2

Contestants:

Bill (Left 4 Dead)

R.E.D. Heavy (Team Fortress 2)

Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

"Hello welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy I am your host Alex Trebek . Now I would like to take this moment to remind the contests not to shoot at the audience." When we last left we had Rei Ayanami in the lead with $0 a score only Achieved by not answering a single question "umm… hi" Rei said shyly in 2nd place we have Bill with a score of -$69 "wait that not your original score" "That's how I got with your mother last night" mocked Bill "*sigh* and in last place with a score of -$3000 The R.E.D. Heavy "I intend to win much money for glories R.E.D team" "Yes well good luck with that." "Moving on it is now time for double Jeopardy here are the categories for double Jeopardy"

Video Games That Are Named Doom

Japan US Relations

You're Name

Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Mouth

Literature

"That's just a big word for books"

Show and Tell

"I show you something and you tell me what it is."

"And finely"

Free Points

"You just have to select it and you are awarded free points"

"Rei since you you're in the lead you can start"

"I… ahh…" Rei stares at the ground nervously

"umm…."

"Do you want me to pick for you"

"That would be nice thank you"

"How abut show and tell for $200"

Now I will show you a picture and you have to tell what it is."

BUZZ! "A small man in a suit with mustache" answered Heavy

"No not me the picture behind me"

BUZZ! "A very gay man in a suit with a mustache" Answered Bill

"*sigh* let's just show the picture"

A picture of a hammer is showed on screen

BUZZ! "What is beating stick" said Heavy

"No that is wrong"

BUZZ! "What is screwdriver" said Bill

"NO"

"anyone else Rei do you have any guesses"

Rei shyly looks away from the camera

Out of time buzzer buzzes

"Really it's a hammer how could none of you know that"

"That's easy for you to say since you have the cards with the answers on it" Sneered Bill

"Right well Bill it's your turn"

"I'll take Jap Anus Relations for $400"

"You mean Japan US Relations"

"Whatever"

"How about Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Mouth for $800"

"And the question is Should you put a bullet in your mouth"

BUZZ! "YES!" shouted Heavy

"What! Who in their right mind puts bullets in their mouth?"

"I Do" said the Heavy

He then spits out bullets that were in his mouth and showed them to Alex before popping them back in his mouth

"That's disgusting"

BUZZ! "I know something you mother love stick in her mouth" mocked Bill

"That was uncalled for"

"Admit it your moms a slut and you know it don't you Trebek" mocked Bill

"You know what let's just skip to final Jeopardy and the question is"

Numbers That Exist

"All you have to do is write a number that exist"

The Jeopardy theme begins playing

"You can write any number"

" A 1 a 2 any number"

Jeopardy theme ends

"All right times up lets what you got"

"R.E.D Heavy you wrote A picture of a sandwich. I'm sorry that is wrong and wagered A Sandvich "

"I'm being very hungry right now. All I can think about is sandvich" said Heavy

"Wonderful"

"Rei you wrote"

"I didn't write anything" Rei said shyly

"Thank you"

"And Bill you wrote a picture of a hand waving the middle finger"

Bill stared laughing

"*sigh* and you wagered F you Trebek"

"*sigh*Well thankfully this is the end of our show I have been your host Alex Trebek. Now I'm going home to put a loaded gun in my mouth."


End file.
